Tag Archives: fighting

domestic violence, power, abuse

Are there other people out here like me, who can’t stand seeing certain types of violence? The tape of Ray Rice, from the NFL, beating his wife has been going around and I only saw a couple moments of it, yet can’t get it out of my mind. I saw a clip from a talk show of what looked to be a fight in high school where the person being beat was kicked in the face repeatedly. I can enjoy some truly brutal violence in movies by people like Quentin Tarantino. That kind of violence is so over the top and doesn’t seem personalized the way a grainy tape of a “regular” fight. What goes through my head and heart when seeing someone being beaten by fists and feet? What the victim was feeling, thinking, doing a moment before they were hit. Whether it was the first time or just an example of what that person has gone through repeatedly. The fear and loss of self that comes when a person is physically and emotionally abused. The way the attacker seems to get bigger as they beat someone they have power over. What the victim goes through everyday; do they work to hide it from the outside world? And what does that do to the victim, forced to pretend things are ok.

I know what its like to be scared of the people who claim to love you, who you live with day to day, to try and maintain a “front,” An image for the world of normalcy. Simply, it sucks. In my angry times I think abusers should be beaten the way they beat someone else. And not just beaten, but their power taken away, forcing them to be unsafe, less then, not listened to. But I know that often abusers have been abused.

“The NFL doesn’t have a Ray Rice problem; they have a violence against women problem.” -NOW-